Oh hello there.
I was at work the other day and had just infused almost a liter of warm soap suds enema into a psych patients' butt. The young doc came in a minute later and was like, "okay, let's disimpact you!" I warned him. I really did. I reminded him that there was now 900cc of shit-water under high pressure, and perhaps it was not the best of ideas to go digging around. He acknowledged the warning, dismissed it and the impervious gown I offered, then dove right in.
About nine seconds later, just after I had moved to the other side of the bed and made a bag of popcorn for the show, Old Faithful erupted. I'm not even kidding when I say he was COVERED in poo. I might have made it through the episode without laughing out loud, but then the patient poked his head up from the pillow fort he had made and innocently said, "uh oh, that felt powerful. I hope it didn't get on you..."
I had to leave the room because I was laughing so hard. I feel bad for abandoning the doc, but I honestly couldn't stay in there. At least I already had a new pair of scrubs on the way from the OR by the time he came out.
And then I came home that night and was like, this will make a really good blog story. So here I am. Back from summer hiatus. And I'm not even sorry I was gone so long, because this summer has been fantastic. I'm so glad to have come home; I missed everyone so much and I missed the familiarity of the hospital and staff. But I'm excited too, because I'm looking for my next travel assignment and gearing up to drive stupid amounts of miles and make friends and adventure somewhere new.
Right now I'm thinking about Denver, Bend OR, or Phoenix. Feel free to weigh in with opinions and/or bribe me with offers of beer and friendship for these places.